Saint Benedict Episcopal Church

The Bishop’s Committee and I have made a pact this year—we are reading a book together called, Beyond Business as Usual: Leadership Development. After praying together, the Bishop’s Committee ( governing board for our Church) discusses a chapter or  two from this book together for the first half hour of our meeting.

Reading together has proven to be a wonderful way for us to talk about our faith and the bigger picture of our community. And that, in essence, is what the BC should be all about—the bigger picture and vision of the church— who are we as a community, what gifts or call do we possess, does any given decision that is on our agenda fit our call in our community?

Boards, especially Church boards, can be difficult to be a part of— sinking to the lowest common denominator when there is nothing to discuss or good leadership tokeep the conversation
moving along, arguing over $1.50 purchase made by the office staff, seeking to keep that silly priest in line, serving as a rubber stamp to the whim of that same crazy priest, micromanaging,
controlling… arguing and yes, sometimes yelling to get one’s agenda forced into action or trying to
make decisions based on wanting to keep everyone happy or to maintain the status quo—that’s not what decisions are for and that is not the work of the church. Thanks be to God, this kind of behavior is not a part of our BC model of operation. I mention all this because I think some of us assume that this is how boards always function—in this place of dysfunction. However, that is not true.

I believe one of the reasons BCs can go awry is because the Decisions are seldom easy to make—even when we are operating at our best, it can be tough going. Why is that?

The very word decision may give us some insight--coming from the Latin root, cedere, meaning to cut as in incision or precision.

The word decision literally means to cut away. If we choose to be on a board in order to maintain the status quo or to keep every one happy, how will we ever make a decision—a cutting, if you will. And decisions can be so tough—especially if we are present on a board to appease others—be it anxious parishioners or an over-ambitious clergy person. I’ve heard so many awful stories—and I bet some of you have seen some pretty awful stuff.

But none of what I’ve described is what churches and their leadership really need (and few want) to do; rather, our ministry as leaders is to be a learning community of disciples that helps to vision and dream about the future and the present of the church. Its why we read books together— because we are all learners together with our hearts set on transformation of ourselves into the life of Jesus Christ.

Yes, of course, tough decisions are a part of the ministry, but the real work is to cultivate a mature Christian spirituality so that when we need to do the hard work of discernment and prayer, we can find common ground, discuss what it is that needs to be accomplished, and even when we disagree, we can make a decision without rancor and without those dreaded parking lot conversations or that wonderful way of passing the buck, “Well, don’t blame me, fellow church goer, I, as your BC representative, voted against that!” Can we make a choice and give ourselves extra grace – knowing that God is present in our decisions and in our church.

Being wrong can easily become our worst fear as a church. However, if we have grace, and we see ourselves as a learning community that encourages the church to be church and to be called out then perhaps we can contemplate making decisions with grace and relying on the Holy Spirit to give us this mature Christian faith.

So what is that mature Christian spirituality? That is the question that our BC raised as the author of our book, Neal Michell raised that as an important part of being on a BC, but he did not carefully define what a mature Christian looks like.

So we wondered together, what is it to be a mature Christian? What does that mean? I wonder what that means to you—to have spiritual maturity.

I feel like a fraud to even pretend like I have the answer to this—especially given that there are people in this community that have lived a Christian life far longer than I’ve been alive and would probably give a far better answer by simply living as they have—filled with grace and hope.

For me, I think having spiritual maturity in Christ might just look like what is described in the Gospel. Jesus does not run away from conflict— often he talks about how we are to deal with conflict—and I think nothing defines our maturity better than how we choose to deal with those things that are most difficult in our life.

Jesus says that when we have a problem with another person, to go to that person directly. If that does not work, then we are to bring a mediator with us. If that does not work, then we bring in the whole church. I think that’s sound advice that makes for great spiritual maturity. Can we talk with the person whom we disagree with in a way that might promote growth? Can we be direct and are we willing to speak the truth in love? I can’t imagine greater maturity than this.

Recently, I was reading an article about a couples and family therapist who postulates that every couple in their relationship has irreconcilable differences and more than just one. The average couple has at least six differences or as many as ten! That is six to ten areas or issues upon which they can’t find agreement or resolution. The therapist postulated that it wasn’t whether the couple would have these differences—the real issue was how the couple would handle them. How  we handle our differences will decide what kind of relationship we will have.

Communities, I believe are fairly similar: how we handle our differences and our decisions as a larger community defines our spiritual maturity and growth. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I pray all the time for grace to be a part of my life—then why am I surprised when God and life give me the opportunity to practice issuing grace to others through kindness, love, patience and compassion.

Why should we expect anything less than grace? Right, wrong, agree, disagree the work of the Holy Spirit is to give us grace so that we might grow into our faith with the spiritual maturity to love people unconditionally, seek with them their transformation and speak truth with a gentle kind of love.

That brings me to the next thing we read in our book together—EGR.

EXTRA GRACE REQUIRED

Where is there a need for extra grace in our community? Is there an individual that needs extra grace? Is there a decision or movement afoot that may require extra grace? Where are the places and people in our community that need EGR?

How about in your life? I leave you with an interesting thought about the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ: perhaps the way we come to spiritual maturity is by giving extra grace to those places and people that might need it most in our lives. For in so doing, we grow in our capacity to give and receive grace.

EGR—be on the look out for it.

EGR let it happen in your life and the life of our Mission.

EGR Happens (When we let it).